btrzy|beatrize

So I never really do this blog thing anymore but I thought I’d pour some thoughts down as I...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 00:58:15 -0700

So I never really do this blog thing anymore but I thought I’d pour some thoughts down as I have an itch to write. It’s a Friday evening and I haven’t been this ENTIRELY free since god knows. Although I still have this anxious feeling like I’m suppose to be somewhere or working on something right now…

Too much going on right now actually, the main thing is that I’ve been learning how to balance everything. I just have to master it. My new rule though is that I can’t make everyone happy, so I should stop trying :).

Also, I’ve just cut a person out of my life, and I’ve never felt so satisfied.. Sounds so evil(?) but it truly felt amazing. Like I’ve finally pulled out, idk, what sucks everything out of you..a giant, annoying, vamp- idk. Pulled that sucker out, and stomped on it. (SATISFYING) out of my hair, like zero worries…ZERO. Yea, that’s my failed attempt to explain that. Lol, moving on.

Anyway, received an email alert just seconds ago from Sanna, a person I haven’t heard from in ages (or seen in over 10 years!!) But uh, from the looks of it, it seems that her account has been hacked (or phished or whatever it is) and it’s junk. T__T last I’ve heard from this girl, actually, was that she was moving to Sac for a bit for an internship (politics). Pretty sure she’s doing well for herself now :).

By the way, Corie had told me that she had bumped into Amy at Zynga, where she had worked for like only a week bc she couldn’t handle her CTS, lol. Anyway, so she couldn’t recognize/remember Amy and that she was from Roose - I find that hilarious as I remember all of us chilling together here and there, haha. Well anyway, Amy and Sanna used to be my best friends from middle school. So yea, that was random, lol.. Time flies..

Anyway anyway, I’m over here skimming through the O (Oprah) magazine, bc, y’know, I’m a middle aged woman like that.. And came across these questions. Thought I’d answer them as they’re reallllly good questions! Plus, some may help get things out of my chest. Like this one:

My most meaningful detour has been…

Leaving my first college. Things just didn’t feel right after my 2nd year, mainly bc I was involved w someone who was screwing me over. Long story short, I was close to this person but ended up being used.

Then it was a number of things like money, grades, and classes. I was paying out of my own savings/funds, and at some point, it didn’t feel worth it. A lot of classes that I needed were too impacted that I ended up taking bs just to stay full time. I ended up failing a few of them, (bc of the whole situation) so after one last semester, I called it quits. I don’t even want to describe the mess I was in, and to be honest, I’m still “cleaning” a part of that past up today.

Anyway, the saddest part was, the person who had used me, didn’t say anything. I remember getting one last call in the beginning of summer, talked about something random, and then never heard from or seen again. But I was pretty much over the bs and didn’t bother to communicate or put in any effort w this person (which, sorry, if anyone happens to read this, will remain nameless. If you know me, then you know who I’m talking about). And this was the summer BEFORE my last semester. So not even a “Where are you? What classes are you taking?”. Odd, right? I’m saying that it was sad that my suspicion of being used had turned out to be true. Till this day, I don’t understand why this person did what they did.

But, y’know, whatever :) It’s been about 6 years and uh, I’ve heard things, and well, karma. As for me, I’ve accomplished so much after leaving all of that behind, and I mean, SO much. I can only go up from here. Let’s just end it at that.

I’ve always wanted to…

Climb Mt. Killamanjaro! I hope I spelled that right? It seems that every bucket list that I’ve ever written, climbing that beast has always been at least top 10, if not 5. This will happen :)

The one place I always come back to is…

My bed. I’ve associated it with everything besides it’s one purpose. I pretty much call it my “office” as I do work on it, eat on it, watch tv, everything!

My favorite road trip music is…

EVERYTHING LOL. Usually things I wouldn’t normally listen to on a daily basis, but everything. So besides the obvious/typical playlist… Cheesy pop music is always fun. Some Dr Dre throwback.. G-Funk gangsta music, yay area gangsta-E-40, Mac Dre.. Rnb throwbacks-New Edition, Mint Condition.. Orchestral/strings.. Bay freestyle, if anyone even remember those? Like Rockell, Jocelyn Enriquez.. Bunch of old school things, really. RETURN OF THE MACK by Mark Morrison, always the jam! Some Puff.. Some Disney cheese.. The most fun are country tunes, though. Haha, if this whole thing isn’t random as it already is.

/end improper sentence formatting

"I have a new outlook in life. Instead of being sad, I’m just going to be pissed."

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 22:15:03 -0700

“I have a new outlook in life. Instead of being sad, I’m just going to be pissed.”

- Friend’s son’s friend, regarding a girl he lost. Lol. Aww

Are they fucking kidding me.

Wed, 30 May 2012 09:33:57 -0700

Are they fucking kidding me.

Photo

Mon, 21 May 2012 23:06:17 -0700

catindigamajig: Buster lazy high-fives all around! One of the...

Mon, 21 May 2012 23:03:34 -0700

catindigamajig:

Buster lazy high-fives all around!

One of the many things that makes Buster so great.

Obviously somethings wrong if I just spent break listening to Maroon 5’s Payphone over and...

Mon, 21 May 2012 09:13:37 -0700

Obviously somethings wrong if I just spent break listening to Maroon 5’s Payphone over and over again, crying in sadness and anger

Hjdfdefbdjdxsixdedfdvwsdxswudv xiqiudewxhsuvbuwsxdwbxudewuijdbduhjbvhwehd fucki it all

Video

Sun, 20 May 2012 11:48:00 -0700

"I haven’t seen or heard from you since Friday. Here’s to hoping it stays that way."

Sun, 20 May 2012 10:53:45 -0700

“I haven’t seen or heard from you since Friday. Here’s to hoping it stays that way.”

autostream: Round and round.

Sun, 20 May 2012 10:50:16 -0700

autostream:

Round and round.

It’s awkward when friends fight over you. Maybe part of the reason why I prefer to be by...

Sat, 05 May 2012 23:15:00 -0700

It’s awkward when friends fight over you. Maybe part of the reason why I prefer to be by myself at times..

glowpinkstah: DOLAN!

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 22:22:28 -0700

glowpinkstah:

DOLAN!

I just don’t get the same happiness (?). How unfair am I right now. Messed up.

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 20:28:07 -0700

I just don’t get the same happiness (?). How unfair am I right now. Messed up.

dinuguan:

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 20:06:47 -0700

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

dinuguan:

-__- what am I doing. But I can’t.

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 06:29:16 -0700

-__- what am I doing. But I can’t.

#emo

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 18:45:45 -0700

Just cried my eyes out. Now making tomorrows lunch, then dinner.

"Just have to get past these next 2 days then life will be good!! Also, hahahahahaha, moron."

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:49:00 -0700

“Just have to get past these next 2 days then life will be good!! Also, hahahahahaha, moron.”

"I miss you.. But things aren’t the same. And I’m stubborn."

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 22:14:46 -0700

“I miss you.. But things aren’t the same. And I’m stubborn.”

"When you’re breezing through a game like it’s nothing, but then it gets real, and you..."

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 17:26:05 -0700

“When you’re breezing through a game like it’s nothing, but then it gets real, and you start freaking out and cursing like no other, and your buddies run in because they “thought you were getting butt raped.””

heycheri: Every day. I’d really like to change the world...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 17:00:45 -0700

heycheri:

Every day. I’d really like to change the world somehow before I die. Still trying to figure out how to do that.

I know that, with my company, we’re definitely doing something positive for society — but I know I could be doing more. :/ I’ll figure it out.

kattwice: yup

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 16:54:04 -0700

kattwice:

yup